Parenting Tips
This section contains weekly parenting tips and strategies ranging from picky eaters to positive discipline!
If you have a tip or strategy, please share it with us!
How to Make a Meaningful Apology
What makes an apology meaningful? (or, what is a “good” apology?).
A meaningful apology includes:
- Intentionality….the apology is given intentionally and with awareness of the reason for it
- Genuine commitment to the follow-through or repair plan, including a commitment to change the behaviour that brought on the apology
- Unconditional … the word BUT is not part of a meaningful apology
Parent—a meaningful apology: I can see that I hurt your feelings when I yelled at you just now. I am sorry I yelled and I am sorry I hurt your feelings. I am going to work really hard on controlling my feelings in a better way so that I do not yell so much. How about if we snuggle here for a few minutes before you go back outside?
Parent—a conditional apology: I can see that I hurt your feelings when I yelled at you just now. I am sorry I yelled and I am sorry I hurt your feelings. I am going to work really hard on controlling my feelings in a better way so that I do not yell so much BUT, I would not have to do this if you would just listen to me the first time I ask you to do something….. How about if we snuggle here for a few minutes before you go back outside?
What are the different feelings each apology triggers?
The addition of 1 little word changes everything!
The trick is to separate the apology from the behavioural intervention. Apologize now, freely and without condition then later, in a connected moment, have a conversation about “listening when I ask you the first time”. It is ok to address the behaviour, just not with the apology!
What are the benefits of a meaningful apology?
- Builds confidence and trust
- Relieves feelings of distress for both
- Increases empathy, on both sides
- Models courage and responsibility
- Allows you both to move forward
- Brings peace to the situation
- Reduces conflict and disagreement
- Gets you into the smart part of your brain
- Problem solving can happen once the connection is restored
- Helps us to re-connect and heal a “relationship injury”
This is really good for everyone to read about!
Thank you for these beneficial tips. People who apologize have strong character, admire themselves, and their partners amongst their kids, parents, spouses etc.