This section contains weekly parenting tips and strategies ranging from picky eaters to positive discipline!
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In our parenting, we use praise all the time, right? Well, research has shown that, despite our good intentions, praise can create “approval junkies” instead of children with enhanced self-esteem. Encouragement, on the other hand, seems builds to self confidence, risk taking and connection.
It includes words or behaviour that give someone knowledge they have done well. The goal of praise is to reinforce accomplishment.
It includes words and behaviours that give someone confidence to do something. The goal of encouragement is to inspire.
Praise is hard to apply to a “failure” because it is usually intended to express approval for an accomplishment. Encouragement, however, works for everything!
We do not need to eliminate praise from our parenting toolbox, but we can increase our use of encouragement and decrease how often we are praising our children and teens.
Try, “you are putting the dishes in the dishwasher so carefully”, rather than “Good work! See, you are so good at loading the dishwasher.”
Try, “your squiggly lines all over the page are so colourful” rather than “that is a beautiful drawing”.
Try, “You worked so hard to build that tower” versus “wow, what a beautiful tower”.
Try, “It looks like you love wearing your hockey jersey. Do you feel good in it?” versus, “You look so handsome in your hockey jersey.”
Try, “I can see how discouraged you are because skating is so hard. You are just not there yet. What do you think would help you do a bit better?” rather than, “Ah, you are a good skater. Don’t worry.” Check out this video about the Power of Yet.
Want to learn more? Check out KW Counselling Services’ Winter 2020 Parenting Schedule. There is a seminar about praise and encouragement!